revolving door of freinds

You get used to friends coming into and departing from your life in this jet-set age. People move and move on faster and more frequently than ever in our modern society --barring the nomads, but even they just wander around the same territory which is a form of permanence in fact.

I'm guilty of the same derooting as I now live on the other side of the Atlantic from where I was born. Of course I am only fulfilling my genetic destiny as each of my parents are transplants from cultures and countries far far away from their current home. However, in our defense, we are rather "stuck" once we find our new homes. But that's another blog entry.

Today is dedicated to mourning the departure of a close friend. I am writing about it because my sorrow has caught me off guard. After all, I am very well experienced and accustomed to making and waving goodbye to good friends. It's my deal in life and I nonchalantly feel I am immune to the sting of a departure. Not today.

Perhaps it's because it's caught me off guard. I normally numb down as the date approaches and see the departure as a temporary trip or international placement. Today's news was unexpected and I feel cheated on my transition period. Also, I'm going to miss this dear friend.

Today is the first time I understand a self-protection method I've seen others use that I've scoffed at. Some of us "lifers" have a friend policy which prohibits the making of a new friend if that friend is not expected to stay permanently in the country. It's a form of interviewing process that makes a pre-requisite of loyalty to a friendship. They have no more energy to devote to building a friendship when it is doomed to be broken, or at best estranged. I won't ever adopt this mentality. It's not in me.

But for the first time in my life with friends coming and going I have considered that I would feel less emotional pain today if I had taken this stance 3 years ago. After all. I knew back then our friendship's days were numbered.

I'm hanging on to the thought that with internet and cheap flights our friendship will endure. And sometimes they do.