understanding dog and whale speak

Like in Finding Nemo when Dori claims "Iiiiiii, speeeeaaak wwwwwhaaaaaale" I think I'm getting closer to understanding the signals of Swedes when communicating.

I have been saying for a while that Swedes speak dog and whale.

What I mean is that for us Anglo-speakers, and certainly other non-native Swedish speakers, there are messages/signals communicated between Swedes that we miss. Many of us get irritated, angry or even upset when we believe the "polite signals" --please, excuse me, thank you--aren't used by Swedes when communicating.

I am now completely convinced they are used, but we cannot "hear" them because they are on a "frequency" we cannot hear --like what dogs and whales can hear.

This came up at dinner last night with Swedish friends. One got it immediately and called it the appropriate "signals" while another kept trying to interpret my "evaluation" trying to figure out who I was calling more or less direct.

Alas, that's the run in I still get faced with all these years later. As neutral and nonjudgmental as I tireless try to be, Swedes, even my oldest friends, interpret my analysis as a likely criticism or at best--judgment.

I only mean we don't understand all the Swedish signals and as a result we misinterpret.