the secret club : parenthood

I would never have guessed that becoming a mommy living in Stockholm,would open doors. The new perks weren't immediately obvious since life with an infant is still pretty much like being a non-parent with a permanent engagement. You can just as well hang out in the same places you once did rather than try to elbow into the parent crowd at the park.

Things started to change once the Bean was old enough to enjoy the park. Then going to the park became a destination for him to enjoy, rather than any random place for us to spend time together. Slowly, so slowly I started recognizing familiar faces and getting to know the names of other regular children. And certainly vice versa.

Now moving about the neighborhood is like mixing with an extended network of acquaintances. And while it seems to newcomers to Stockholm that neighbors don't get to know each other. There's no doubt that parents do. Parenthood has its privileges and my wonderful neighborhood got more wonderful.

mink on a bike

I got outclassed yesterday. Riding toward town in my consulting clothes along Södermälarstrand I came up on a woman wearing not only a skirt, tights and fashionable boots, but also a mid-length mink coat and a stylish woolen hat.

All these years on my mountain bike I have enjoyed the subtle looks I get wearing business wear while on two wheels and the kick I get from the cycling fascists who see me and think "Chick in a skirt" when they try to overtake and fail.

This woman in her mink fur has raised the bar for me and make me sad that I didn't go for the hubby's suggestion to turn up to our wedding on bikes.

walk on by

On my way to baby massage which is held in the same room as the play group I was surprised to see people leaving with children. It struck me that the normal open play group was closed for this week and next.

So despite my advance "against the tide" and the looks of the departing parents, no one volunteered that the play group was closed.

Perhaps they knew that something was going on and didn't want to presume. I don't know. Perhaps they sent clear signals that something was amiss...I don't know. I know that no one vocally informed me. I still find that odd.

Some day I'm going to figure out these Swedes.

parents paradise --kids are cheap by rail

This country is designed to be the parents paradise. Generous parental leave, subsidized and highly affordable child care and incredible tolerance and respect for children as a part of the daily life. But I think the railway company has gone overboard. Kids get seats for quite nearly nothing. While it's literal, it should be. 2 Children can accompany a paying adult complete with a reserved seat for.....20 kronor --round trip --IN TOTAL--anywhere.

I just bought tickets Stockholm-Malmö for two adults and three kids. One of the minis is the 5-month old daughter. She gets her own seat. The total price is 2480 for FIVE seats. For two adults alone I think that's a pretty hefty fare (mind you it's a reduced saver's fare.) Full price in 2nd class would be that much for one adult.

Now I'm not complaining as I'm now on the receiving end. But the former non-parent in me says "That's not really fair" for the childless or childfree when traveling. Reduction in price? Yes please. Virtually free? --why?

(in)famous café

You tend to take things for granted in your own backyard. Or in this case, your front yard.

We have a café across the street which is known all over Stockholm. People from the other side of town come here just to go to the café. Personally I love the café because of its roll in our neighborhood. It's the central pulse of daily life and its personalities make my adopted home just that: home.

This is despite the ironic fact that I'm not much of a café person. Mostly because for most of my life I have been unable to have a cup of coffee much later than 10 am if I want to sleep well that night and I'm no early bird. It's been a cruel irony for most of my adult life since I've spent most of that life in European capitals, Paris, Budapest and now Stockholm. Granted, when I first got to Stockholm in 1992, the number of cafés which served anything as "exotic" as a cappuccino were highly limited.

Two kids later, the greatest gift they've given me --beyond the obvious of the wonders of their most precious lives--is the newfound virtuosity to drink coffee pretty much all day long. Additionally, my Bean, is most often very excited to go to the café. Partly because they've made him a cookie junkie (he never gets cookies, candy, ice cream or overly sweetened drinks at home) and partly because he's treated as "one of the gang." So I've been spending more time at the café either drinking a latte or just stopping by.

Turns out the 175cm-tall Barista (if he's 175cm tall, I'm 55kg) has started a blog. I read the first few entries a month ago and then like most of my intentions to read/write, get put off for later. I just spent the past couple of hours reading through all of the posts to date. Damn if I must say it's freakingly hilarious. Most fun is when the anonymous characters, staff and patrons alike, are all too obvious and someone I know. I get the same chuckle reading Francis Strand's blog --still my all-time favorite blog about Stockholm --sorry Barista (but yours is an ever encroaching second;-)